theworstthingsforsale:

You open the front door and begin to run outside. “Nooooooo!” you scream. But as the last “o” leaves your mouth, the Fedex man throws your $25,170 crystal chandelier over the privacy fence, and it lands with a sickening crunch.
“Free shipping, motherfucker!” he screams, and throws the Fedex gang sign up above the wooden slats.

I reblog drew toothpaste all the time because he says what we’re all thinking, if we were funny.

theworstthingsforsale:

You open the front door and begin to run outside. “Nooooooo!” you scream. But as the last “o” leaves your mouth, the Fedex man throws your $25,170 crystal chandelier over the privacy fence, and it lands with a sickening crunch.

“Free shipping, motherfucker!” he screams, and throws the Fedex gang sign up above the wooden slats.

I reblog drew toothpaste all the time because he says what we’re all thinking, if we were funny.